Wise cracks

Got these wise cracks in email and thought you might be interested in looking at them. One does not need to follow them but it surely is nice to read through them and enjoy the moment you read.

1. Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.

2. Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weight less, a treasure you can carry easily.

3. Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

4. Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

5. Don’t be afraid to encounter risk. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

6. Don’t be afraid to admit you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.

7. Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

8. Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or future. By living our life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

9. Don’t take for granted the closest things to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

10. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

11. Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Well, here are some slogans and wise cracks for your funny bone.

  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
  • Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
  • Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
  • Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • I plead contemporary insanity.
  • Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
  • I like cats, too. Let’s exchange recipes.
  • I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • Live within my income? Heck, it’s all I can do to live within my credit.
  • A woman’s favorite position is C.E.O.
  • Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  • Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
  • Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • So many freaks, so few circuses.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • Chaos, panic, & disorder my work here is done.
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  • Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
  • Allow me to introduce myselves.
  • Meandering to a different drummer.
  • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  • I started out with nothing…and I still have most of it left.
  • And just how may I screw you over today?
  • I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here, or to go?