25 signs that you have grown up

Nice compilation again. You are grown and responsible gentleman/woman when :

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up”.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up”.

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, “Oh shit, what the hell happened?”

What do you think? Is that you ?

47 thoughts on “25 signs that you have grown up

  1. great list!

    here’s the version i use:

    1. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
    2. It’s harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
    3. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
    4. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
    5. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
    6. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
    7. There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
    8. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
    9. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
    10. You can eat dinner at 4:00.
    11. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
    12. You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
    13. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
    14. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
    15. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
    16. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
    17. You got cable for the weather channel.
    18. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
    19. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
    20. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
    21. You send money to PBS.
    22. You sing along with the elevator music.
    23. You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
    24. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
    25. Your back goes out more than you do.
    26. Your ears are hairier than your head.
    27. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
    28. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
    29. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
    30. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
    31. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.—–

  2. wow. only 5 and six don’t stick!
    at 24-years old i feel like a grandpa!

    oh well, if that’s what it takes for life to be good (’cause it is), then i don’t mind getting old!

  3. Only 7, hooray! Would be even lower if I wasn’t such a huge fan of wine and naps.

    I love the last one, that’s gotta be the ultimate sign you (or your friends, at least) have grown up…

  4. Personally, I disagree with quite a few of these.

    “Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.”
    That goes without saying. A twin bed is goddamn small.

    “You take naps.”
    I often take naps. I’m barely 19, but sometimes you’re just too bored to stay awake.

    “A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”.”
    A $4 bottle of wine has never been good shit.

    And, most of the rest are not signs you’ve grown up. They’re probably signs you’ve become an old fogie.

  5. I disagree with 24. When you’re grown up, you don’t have to drink before going out. You just have three beers at the bar or else you can’t wake up in the morning.

  6. I find that hilarious, and I complete agree, except for one thing. I am definitely not grown up, but naps are an essential part of college. I thought you stopped napping when you got out of college. hmm.

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  8. Hmmm glad i am not grown up yet.. kinda boring live.. get up at 6:00 for what? i hope i will never grow up.. you have to keep the “child” in everyone of us alive.. thats whats keeping you young. Go, and do things you love not because u arent supposed to. sorry for my english i am from holland and i really wanted to say something about this.. there isnt a Menu for life, just do what your heart is telling you, follow it!

  9. Im 17 and thankgod im havnt grown up yet. apart from no. 24 everyone wants to save money, people my age are always skint. so its cheaper that way!

  10. the only shit that makes me realise that i have grown up is coz i aint got shit to do plus i get paid n add to that ” i get laid” lekker n shwaka.Guess what im doin now ?……….getting wasted……..like a real grown up.beat that .and this is for the lil mama f’s trying to read this shit 2 establish whether they are grown like MEEEEEEEEEE.

  11. Nice list and I do fit many of them though I can tell you I don’t watch the weather channel mostly because they don’t really go over Alaska. Dress up in Alaska is jeans and a sweater with your favorite winter boots. I still go to bed at 6am as I am a night owl and free lance artist so I can set my own bedtime.

  12. There is really only one sign that a person is grown up. It is accepting that no amount of one’s own pleasure is worth another’s pain.

  13. the only shit that makes me realise that i have grown up is coz i aint got shit to do plus i get paid n add to that ” i get laid” lekker n shwaka.Guess what im doin now ?……….getting wasted……..like a real grown up.beat that .and this is for the lil mama f’s trying to read this shit 2 establish whether they are grown like MEEEEEEEEEE.

    uhhh…… was that meant to mean anything? also, great list 😀

  14. Just got 40 yesterday. Hav a family, three kids.
    Yeah, that’s just it, mostly true… 😉
    I really laughed a lot reading hits.
    Cheers, Hank

  15. Oh dear. Starting reading the list ‘just because’ but the more l read…..the more it sounded like me.
    How did l get so old? And why did l turn out to sound like my parents?
    Why did l used to have small ‘powernaps’ and now they are ‘nanna naps’?
    * sigh *

  16. Thats a depressing piece of shit – thats what I was going to write first looking at my age (close to 50) at Christmas Eve. But then I looked at the name of the topic and realised that it has nothing to do with the age and also that definitions of a “grown up” may be quite varied. So guys dont fall in the trap and feel young and un-ggrrrown up as long as you want and can feel so and have no f****ng lists make you feel othewrwise.

    Cheers up,

    Alex

  17. This list is great — so freakin’ accurate. I’m still young – going on 24 now and some of these things are beginning to sound familiar, but I can see all of them happening within the next five years so it’s scary.

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